“How You Doing?”
It’s a question we often ask and are asked but rarely give the real answer to, so for today I ask How are You, really how you doing?
Today I am actually feeling good. I haven’t blogged in a while so it feels great to write and to write about something close to my heart- Mental Health!
I’m excited for May and the feelings a new month brings. This last year has been extremely hard I’ve gone through a breakthrough, in and out of hospitals with my mother, then she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, becoming a caregiver, work shit, people shit, the rising cost of everything, and then April omg April was chaos on wheels, let me tell you lol!
My mom went into the ER the night before I was to fly out to Mexico for my friends birthday, so I had the tough decision of deciding to stay or go (nervous & anxious) but my mom and friends encouraged me to go and enjoy myself, assuring me that things would be fine. After being there for not even 48 hours my phone was stolen, broken into, emails hacked and money stolen from back accounts! (confused, angry, anxious, sad) I was SICK!
It took everything in me to remain grounded (cool, calm & collected) while worrying that my privacy was being viloated. On the outside I was doing my best to keep it together (didn’t want to ruin my friend’s bday weekend) on the inside I was falling apart. My mind took a deep dive into every negative, shameful, and fearful thing I could think of and I literally cried for the next 5 days. A feeling that I had made a terrible decision to take this trip sucked the life out of me (overwhelmed) and so I spiraled alone (isolation)in my room. DEPRESSED
I am Supported
I didn’t know what to do with myself nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Thankfully my friend who is an amazing light of human being along with her friends did all they could to help me get back on track (community).
One friend helped me scour the beach, and streets of Salulyita looking for my phone, another offered use of their phone to call my mom and allowed my mom to call me. They reached out to contacts to find ways to access my accounts, and most importantly they helped me to stay in the present moment and not focus on the loss (be here now) During those moments I had the best time dancing, singing, playing, feeling alive!
Before this trip I had been talking about needing to disconnect and how I wanted to be present, I said things like:
“I want to get of social media”
“I want to focus on growing FYL”
“I want to become more disciplined in my rituals & practices”
Well the Universe said I got you- but shit did I really have to loose my phone to do all that?! This was not apart of the vision I had for myself, so now I am being extremely specific with how I want to experience my life. It is an absolute MUST to think and speak intentionally and phrase my words in a way that aligns with my highest good. I want to be a willingly participant in my lived experiences not forced!
When it comes to treating our mental health I know there’s no simple solution to the complexities it presents, we are all dealing with our own unique situations. Personally I struggle with ruminating on the past, self-esteem, irritability, I can isolate, and a few other characteristics that lead to depression. However I’ve come to learn that for me there is something beautiful and life-changing about grounding myself in the present. From this space I gain clarity, awareness, and appreciation for my life, which is how I want to feel.
Now I get that it can be difficult to feel this way all the time, even some of the time- it takes a real deliberate effort to choose mental strength and hold yourself in the space of feeling good. Because of this I do my best to check in with myself and be aware of how I am, this allows me the ability to answer truthfully of how I’m doing. When I show up in this way my emotions have the room to breathe and I embody permission of what it looks and feels like to fully be myself.
I live my Truth
In our world of AI, fake news, is it or isn’t rhetoric we need truth, when we share our truths it can offer others the freedom to share theirs. With the rise in deaths by well-known celebrities and unassuming women and men a call to action of revealing how we really are is welcomed now more than ever. I don’t want to hear or see another tragedy of someone loosing their life due to not being mentally well. As soon as it happens the questions of why didn’t they talk to me, haunts the loved ones & friends left to grieve. It’s heart-breaking.
Mental Health Awareness is more than just a slogan, or a thing to be recognized one month out of the year- it is an invitation and a plea that says your mind is important, how you’re feeling is important, and help is available for you.
It is my mission with FYL to be transparent and provide resources that support mental well being. We don’t have to walk alone in our experiences.
So the next time you ask or are asked how you doing I challenge you to tell the truth, it could make the difference in your mental well being to be supported or supportive.
Live Lite,
Safia